Friday, August 27, 2010

hello, mr. police man. long time, no see.

i should have known after receiving that afore-mentioned postcard that a visit from the local police was coming up. this is mom's MO, after all. at least this time, it was at my home at 9:30 in the morning, instead of 3 am with roommates in the house.

this time was easier than the last. the first thing out of the officer's mouth was "are you the beneficiary for your mother?" i had a minor heart attack. no one wants to hear that. it makes it sound like she died. he clarified. "or power of attorney? someone contacted us that you had been out of touch since 2006." i sighed. and then relayed the entire story.

the upside of all of this is that they asked me whether i wanted them to confirm my whereabouts and wellbeing to my mother. i said, "absolutely not. i want no contact with her at all." i also now have two very nice police sargeants in the know about my mother's illness, her usual delusions, her current whereabouts, and her priors.

i texted my brother afterwards, and he wrote back that he had a visit from the cops two days ago, and his wife wants an order of protection. i wrote back, "maybe she'll get hospitalized finally."

pipe dream, chica. not gonna happen.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

what do i do?

she sent me a postcard dated 8/23 that says she's cured herself with sam-e and that she wants to see me.

that same day, she wrote on her blog the following:

"So I am in despair. I have to end myself.
I cannot isolate myself or end the carnage."

i have no idea what to do. i don't believe she would ever hurt herself. this is just another dramatic moment in her mind. but it's still scary as hell.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

damnit.

on her blog, my mom said she tried zyprexa but threw it out because her face went numb. this means she was trying to be on medication, all on her own.

i don't understand.