i should shut my mouth.

every once in a while, i start to find myself telling people in my everyday life about my mother. they ask a simple question, or they are going through a terrible situation, and i just let it out. the entire story.

i was delivering a review to one of my employees, and we were talking about anger control. and i told him about the phone call from the police officer the other week, and how i wanted to actually react, but couldn't because i was at work. and then he was apologizing i went through that, and sorry i didn't have my mom, etc. etc.

i immediately regretted telling him and yelled at myself to shut my damn mouth.

it's hard for people to relate to my story, and telling them always seems to put them in awkward positions. i don't want them to feel compelled to say something that i don't necessarily need or want to hear.

crazy dreams.

i woke myself from a terror-inducing nightmare where the highlight was my mother arriving here, and chasing me up and down a street full of shops, and me trying to desperately hide but never feeling safe. i was trying to beat her to my store to warn them that she was coming.

if that isn't a mindfuck to start my day, i don't know what is.

side note.

i'm falling for someone, and i can't do anything about it. it's such a shame.