depression and the police.

i am fighting this depression with every inch of my being, but i can't find the energy. i spent the entire day in bed yesterday, waking up only to watch movies, and then answer the door for the police at 9 pm. the officer was nice, but i was crying. i told him i felt harassed. stalked by my own mother. and he basically said that the police never mind coming, and they have to cover their own ass. again i had to explain to a cop why my mother calls them, what her delusions are, and the waste of time it is for them. i asked if there was any way to stop them from coming, since it upsets me so much. he said no. they have to come.

in a ridiculous attempt at distracting myself, i am now going to drive 3 hours to massachusetts. i'm telling myself its to drop off my violin at my violin man, but i'm really going just to get out of the house.

i am so very sad lately.