future

going to visit the brother was needed. it felt so good to be somewhere else. in the middle of someone else's family. we talked about what would happen in the future. he is the only family member still talking to her now. apparently she applied for disability and got it. i wonder what kind of disability she claimed to have. so maybe my wish will not come true. maybe she will not check herself into a hospital out of desperation. maybe this situation will never resolve itself.

i feel knocked down.