i'm heading down to visit my brother in the morning. i need it. i've felt like a depressed fuck for the past few weeks. rarely getting out of bed on my days off. not calling friends. eating everything in the fridge. this is never a good sign. i wound up hysterical on the phone with the brother two weeks ago, blabbering on about how much i hate myself and the newly decided fate that i would be alone my entire life.
i know what's really talking.
but when i go down to see him, i'm hoping we can talk about mom a bit. he's getting married next summer, and i'm not sure how it's going to be to have her at the wedding. yes, it's far in the future. yes, it doesn't really matter right this second. but i'm anxious about it already.
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