i love spring.

so... continuing the progress from last month. i've decided that the month of march is ME month! i don't know why march, but i'll chalk it up to the fact that its because there are no holidays besides st patty's day.

the question: can i, in only one month, reclaim some of the things that define me OTHER THAN my mother and my job?

that's the question i want to work on.

my mother sent me a letter today. it was her usual "where is your brother? i'm going to file a missing person's report. i heard that you were living elsewhere and what you were conversing with [insert fictious person here]." my progress continues - i ripped it up, i'm recording it here, and i'm moving on. i don't have the time or the energy to get upset by it anymore. the simple fact remains that she will never change, and i can't help her. i can't continue to live my life on "pause" and forget all the things that make me special in order to hide myself away in a job that takes away all dealings with my mother. i want to reclaim myself.

first step - rejoin an orchestra. i used to be a fantastic violin player. and i think with a little brush up and some practie, i could start there.

i love spring - everything feels like rebirth and renewal.