5 years and counting.

this is mother's day #5 without a celebration of my mother. spent it yet again in the company of my grandmother and aunt, who have spent so much of my life trying to fill a gap.

but we existed as a pair at one point, and i'm trying to remember the time that we did have.

my father said goodnight tonight by saying, "happy daughter's day." it was sweet, and i know what he meant. but i think it's ok to say happy mother's day today - because she was my mother at one point, and i am comfortable enough to celebrate that.

five years with her absence, but she's never really gone.