Monday, May 2, 2011

soul healing.

i have been trying over the past few weeks to heal, emotionally and physically. i wouldn't say i'm there yet. but i know that i am on my way.

i have been looking forward to may 1st like you wouldn't believe. the beginning of the month means my support group meeting is coming up. i was such a mess at the last one, and i think i'm better now. i'm anxious to see them all and tell them how much better i'm coping.

i spent last night and yesterday alone, but not sitting at home on the couch. i took myself out to dinner, and then spent today wandering around a cute little town up north i had read about. spent the afternoon sitting on the porch of a french bistro, sipping vino verde and inhaling a bowl of mussels with fries on the side. it was beautiful. but still so alone. i don't know what it is that keeps me from calling my friends. sometimes i need the space. but i know today would have been more fun with someone along for the ride.

started to wonder if this is what my mother does all the time too, all alone upstate.

3 comments:

  1. hi.

    I have been reading your blog for about a year now.
    I have read it in good times & bad times. Our situations are similar & sometimes I wish we knew each other in real life...because i just want to give you a great big hug :)
    Usually, something stops me from writing but tonite i just wanted to say that i'm here, I'm reading, i understand & i hope the healing continues :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you so much! it really means a lot to me that we can all find each other out here, even if we aren't together in the real world :) it's nice to not be alone in the journey.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, I'm from Italy, I just found your blog. I have one about my mentally ill mother, too.
    I really do understand what you're talking about.

    Maybe you already know them, but I'd like to suggest you these 2 facebook groups about the topic:
    Children of Parents with Mental Illness http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_95113476577

    Adult Children of Parents with Schizo-Affective and Other Mood Disorders
    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_35021114281

    And this is also a useful blog I recommend you:
    http://thecrookedhouseorg.blogspot.com/

    Hugs,
    Stefania.

    ReplyDelete